Question
Is it ok to just sleep with a person and not have sex even when you are not married. Is it ok just to have foreplay and not have sex.
Answer
The problem here is, sin (fornication) does not begin with the physical act, but in the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Therefore, being involved with someone you are not married to, but are physically attracted to, can only cause tremendous temptation to commit fornication. In order to avoid this, our thinking must be controlled, along with our actions. Ultimately, to prevent fornication, the bible teaches that we should marry. Here are some passages that may help to answer your questions.
MAT 15:10 And after He called the multitude to Him, He said to them, “Hear, and understand.
MAT 15:11 “Not what enters into the mouth defiles the man, but what proceeds out of the mouth, this defiles the man.”
MAT 15:12 Then the disciples came and said to Him, “Do You know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this statement?”
MAT 15:13 But He answered and said, “Every plant which My heavenly Father did not plant shall be rooted up.
MAT 15:14 “Let them alone; they are blind guides of the blind. And if a blind man guides a blind man, both will fall into a pit.”
MAT 15:15 And Peter answered and said to Him, “Explain the parable to us.”
MAT 15:16 And He said, “Are you still lacking in understanding also?
MAT 15:17 “Do you not understand that everything that goes into the mouth passes into the stomach, and is eliminated?
MAT 15:18 “But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.
MAT 15:19 “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders.
MAT 15:20 “These are the things which defile the man; but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile the man.”
1CO 6:18 Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.
1CO 6:19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?
1CO 6:20 For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.
1CO 7:1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.
1CO 7:2 But because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
1CO 7:3 Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
1CO 7:4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
To summarize, our thinking, as well as our actions, must promote that which is good. Placing ourselves in situations where we think about committing fornication and where we are tempted and encouraged to lose control of our sexual desires, is not the purity of mind and body that God desires for each one of us. Marriage is the realm in which God has given men and women the right to satisfy their sexual desires in a way that is pleasing to Him and is best for society.
By Gary Hunt
