Quection
What does the Bible say about dating and courtship and what are the guide lines, if any?
Answer
Although the question is a practical one, the Bible does not give all the explicit guidelines that we might look for. However, it does reveal some principles that we should follow if we are presently or considering being innovated in dating and possibly marriage.
1. We should avoid all situation, whether married or not, that might lead us to commit sexual sin; premarital sex, adultery if we are married and so on. The Bible teaches that the only lawful relationship for sexual action is marriage. Therefore, when dating, we must avoid all situations where we might be tempted to engage in fornication.
1CO 6:18 Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.
1CO 6:19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?
1CO 6:20 For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.
1CO 7:1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.
1CO 7:2 But because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
1CO 7:3 Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
1CO 7:4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
1CO 7:5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
2. The principles of the highest form of love (not sexual) must be practiced whether we are dating or married. The Bible tells us how we should treat one another, in an unselfish manner that comes from our will to act with the highest love toward another. This love is described by Paul.
1CO 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
1CO 13:5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
1CO 13:6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
1CO 13:7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
3. In dating, we should determine whether we can work together with the individual we are dating, especially when it comes to serving God. To get serious about someone who would lead us away from God is a spiritual tragedy. And, to get serious about a person who is not willing to following Christian teaching in how husband and wife should behave leads to much heartache. Therefore, we need to determine, as much as we can, whether we can work in unity together to make the best marriage possible. This can only be done if both are willing to submit to God and His will.
EPH 5:22 ¶ Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
EPH 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.
EPH 5:24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
EPH 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her;
EPH 5:26 that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
EPH 5:27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless.
EPH 5:28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
EPH 5:29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,
EPH 5:30 because we are members of His body.
EPH 5:31 For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh.
EPH 5:32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.
EPH 5:33 Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.
4. We should understand the nature of the marriage commitment it is for life. When dating and eventually considering marriage, we must understand that the commitment is the most serious commitment we are going to make, next to our relationship with God. It should not be done in a casual or lighthearted manner.
MAT 19:3 ¶ And some Pharisees came to Him, testing Him, and saying, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause at all?”
MAT 19:4 And He answered and said, “Have you not read, that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female,
MAT 19:5 and said,’ For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh’?
MAT 19:6 “Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
MAT 19:7 They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
MAT 19:8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.
MAT 19:9 “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
Although there is nothing wrong with dating and dating many potential mates, we must realize that God instructs those who desire to have sexual relations to marry. However, if we have already been married or divorced, we should beware getting ourselves into a situation where we might be continuously committing adultery with another. Marriage is given as a blessing from God for our good, if we follow His will in these things.
By Gary Hunt
